I met Janine the second week of my freshman year. Our eyes met across the dormitory lounge and we exchanged shy smiles. It turned out we had a class together and we immediately hit it off. By week four we were close and by October we were exclusive. We frolicked in the carefree simplicity of being young and hundreds of miles from home. College was our utopia and life was an easy flow of keg parties, sex and intro classes. The world outside of campus was a strange and foreign place and our families were voices at the other end of a phone line.
Oh, life was good! As Janine and I lay listlessly in my dorm-room bed one afternoon in mid November, I was pondering this notion, my mind and body numb with peaceful resignation and beer. Janine was talking about something but I was oblivious. I acknowledged her with small grunts and an occasional fondle of her breasts. Suddenly there was the word that sobered me like a bucket of icy water.
“So what do you think James?” she said. “Hello? Are you even listening to me? What do you think about coming home with me for Thanksgiving?”
She sat up and looked down into my startled face. The sheet fell off her and I was put back at ease by her gratuitous frontal nudity. Man life was good!
“James!” she pulled the sheet up denying me my distraction. “Baby…,” she screwed up her face and twisted her lips into a stern grimace. This was Janine’s way of telling me it was time to get serious. First she takes away the nudity and then I get the look.
“Aw shit,” I sighed, “Is it Thanksgiving already? Hmm, I haven’t given it any thought.”
Now this was actually a lie. I had been dreading the excursion into the real world since my last call home. It was a few weeks before. My mother said that we were all going over to my aunt’s house. My aunt was just coming off her third divorce and with my mother acting as amateur therapist; Thanksgiving was guaranteed to be a day full tearful man bashing and dry turkey. I conjured up an excuse about a phantom term paper that I would “try like hell to get worked on before Thanksgiving.”
“Well, come home with me James, it will be a blast. I want you to meet my family,” she said excitedly.
“Hmm, well, I wasn’t really planning on doing anything, that is I have this paper due and….” I started to say.
“Oh come on,” she gave me a seductive pout and let the sheet fall slowly from her breasts. Damn! I am so weak. Was I really considering leaving the gates of paradise? Was I going to trek out into the harsh world beyond the campus because of a cute smile and an unrelenting libido? I was in control of my own destiny, I made my own decisions, and I was not about to go to any…. She straddled over me and ran her fingers over my chest.
“So when are we leaving?” I said.
Janine’s family lived about three hours away from the campus. We stood waiting for the bus on a frigid, dismal Thanksgiving morning. The wind lashed at our coats and the horizon was thick with dark ominous clouds. I lamented the fact I was not at that moment tucked snuggly into my single dorm-room bed, locked in a carnal embrace with Janine’s warm supple body. I breathed into the upturned collar of my coat to circulate some warm air around my neck and caught the stale alcoholic scent of the night before.
We had gone to a gender reversal party and my face still bore evidence of blush and mascara. The edges of my fingernails were flecked with “crimson lust” polish that I had procured from Janine. My head pounded and ached as punishment for my excessive partaking in the previous night’s mystery punch. My eyes watered in the brisk morning air and when the bus arrived the letters on the marquee were blurred. All I could make out was a “…ville.” The bus to “Somewhere- Out-There-Ville.”
We boarded the bus and sat across from elderly women who looked us over and then down at the remains of the fingernail polish. She looked confused for a second as if she had connected the wrong hands with the wrong face and then noticed the make-up. She looked at me disapprovingly and then pulled out a set of needles and began knitting, muttering indictments under her breath. I felt slightly embarrassed but was unconscious before I had a chance to give it any real thought.
I slept in a heavy sedation, vaguely aware of the movements around me. I dreamed about turkeys dancing together in ring around a lone turkey that was dressed up in a wig and make-up. The turkey posed seductively, enticing the other turkeys into sexual frenzy. They danced faster and faster around the transvestite turkey, their moves becoming more and more wild and chaotic. I pushed my way through the turbulent circle, dodging sharp beaks and flailing wings that sliced the air. When I got to the center of the circle, I got a clear look at the face under the wig, it was Janine, and she was looking good. Real good! I wrapped my arms around all of her poultry exquisiteness and pulled her towards me. I sank my face into her soft breast and nuzzled her feathers.
When I awoke, I was nuzzling the headrest of the seat next to me. As I lifted my head, a long thread of drool followed me. I sat up and realized that I was spooning the seat next to me. My leg was flung over one side and my arms held the headrest in a loving embrace. I looked down and saw that I was fully aroused. I composed myself and looked around coyly. There on the other side of the aisle was the old woman with the knitting needles, wearing a look of total repugnance. My hand went reflexively to my crotch, trying to subdue what seemed her main point of contention.
I stood up and walked quickly pass the old woman, carefully keeping my hips pointed away from her. I found Janine near the back of the bus chatting up another girl who looked slightly older. They both looked up at my arrival and stared giggling.
“Have a nice rest there James,” said Janine trying to hold back a laugh, her eyes gesturing at the unrelenting protrusion between my legs. The other girl looked embarrassed and turned toward the window.
“Ah, um, yeah,” I said, trying to look everywhere but down. “I was pretty out of it, yeah, whew, I was really wiped out.” I looked at her pleadingly, “So, ah, how did you get back here?”
She gave me pained look, “Well you were snoring and saying something about turkeys?” She let out another giggle and looked over at the other girl conspiratorially. “James, this is Annette, she is a senior and guess what, her grandparents live in the same town as my parents. Isn’t that great?”
Janine lost all interest in me and looked back at Annette, who was now casually looking between us. “Oh my god Annette, I am so glad you were on this bus! I mean he crashes out the moment we board and then starts drooling on me. I mean can you imagine sitting for three hours with him,” she waves her hand towards me for emphasis, “drooling all over you?”
Annette gave diplomatic shrug and smiled at me warmly. She had nice eyes and a carnal smile. When I returned her smile, I felt a slight stirring in my fore mentioned region that had finally yielded after some intense introspective begging.
“Well we better get back to our seats,” Janine says as she stood up. “ I am so glad we got to hang out, we totally need to get together when we get back to school. Wouldn’t that be cool James?”
I looked over at Annette who seemed to notice the resurgence in my pants. She gave me a sly knowing look and I was frozen by it. A senior, oh man the things this chick must know. I put on my best James Dean face and leaned awkwardly against the adjacent seat. “Well you know…,” I started but then heard a voice behind me.
“Hey buddy, you mind?” I turned and looked into the face of very irritated guy.
“Oh geez, shit, I mean, oh sorry about that man,” I said nervously. He just shook his head and went back to reading his paper, muttering resentments under his breath.
“Ok, we better get going,” said Janine a little annoyed. “No telling what could happen next with this one,” she took my hand in hers and led me back to the seats. I looked back over my shoulder hoping for one more exchange with the fabulous Annette. She was looking out the window.
We were waiting outside the bus depot when a black firebird ripped through the parking lot and came to a slamming halt before us. The door flew open and marijuana smoke surrounded us. “Hey man. How are you bro? Who the hell are you again?” a hand extends from the sleeve of a beat to hell black leather jacket. His hand grabbed mine and shook it violently. Then he threw his arms around me a pulled me into him. He pushed me away nonchalantly and scooped Janine up into his arms.
“Hey sis, you are looking fine,” he said a little too lecherously. He looked over at me and winked.
“Oh Donny, cut it out, don’t be such a bad boy,” she giggled. “This is James, he’s coming over for dinner.” She gestured toward me but did not look in my direction. They gazed into each other’s eyes for another second and then both turned towards me. They seemed to study me a moment and then Janine ran over to me and laid her head against my shoulder. “You ready to meet the family baby?”
We tore out onto the freeway and raced about a mile out of town. Donny had the car going a steady seventy when he looked back at me and asked, “Want to smoke a joint dude?” More that anything else in life at this point, I thought. I looked over at Janine for approval.
“Oh go for it James,” she said dismissively. She gave me a smile, “but not too much, ok? My parents can be a handful.” The last part she said more to herself than the rest of the car.
“Don’t worry bro,” said Donny taking a huge toke, and then passed it to me. I took a long drag and passed it Janine, who took a moderate size-hit and passed it back to Donny. “Everything will be cool. You’ll see,” he continued, “in no time at all,” he took another large toke and coughed, “its like you’ll be part of the family.”
We pulled up to a house at the end of a long dirt road we turned onto just off the highway. We got out of the car and walked up a long staircase that lead to a large porch that wrapped around the house. Sitting on the top step was a girl who looked like Janine, but younger. She looked over at me and smiled. “Hi there,” she said looking me over. “What’s your name?”
“Hi I’m James,” I said trying not to sound stoned. I extended my hand a little too quickly, and she jumped back. She looked startled at first but then laughed. She took my hand in hers, held it there a moment, and stared up into my eyes. I stood there looking at her dumbly not really sure what to do.
“Ok Brooke, ok, that’s enough,” said Janine. She walked up behind me and put her arms around my waist. “He’s with me, ok?” Janine kissed me on the cheek and gave Brooke a bright smile. Brooke gave me a wink that was eerily familiar to Don’s and come to think of it, a lot like Janine’s. A tiny spring of paranoia passed through me. I figured the weed was just good.
When we entered the house, I noticed a large dining room table decorated with all the best Thanksgiving amenities. I could hear talking and laughter coming from the end of a long hallway. Janine took my hand and led me down the hall to a door that led to the kitchen. When we entered the conversation came to a stand still and all eyes were on us. Another clone of Janine, this time the older version starred at me intently. Then her face broke out into a large smile and she thrust her hand towards me.
“You must be James, we’ve heard so much about you.” As she let go of my hand, her fingers floated lightly along my wrist. I blushed at this exchange and cautiously withdrew my hand. As I crept backward toward Janine, I felt a hand fall heavily on my shoulder.
“You must be James,” he almost shouted. “I’m Janine’s dad Frank,” he spelled out each syllable, landing on hard “k” that sounded like a slap. “How are you son, did you kids have a nice ride out here?” he asked with an air of suspicion. His grip on my shoulder tightened. “A nice ride? Yes, a nice ride?” His eyes bored into me and I felt my mouth going dry. Really dry! Why was he looking at me like that? My first reaction was to assume that he knew I was on drugs, but my gut told my otherwise. Something was definitely amiss in this house, and these people were very weird.
“Oh, dad,” said Janine coming to my rescue. Leave James alone, we just had a long trip here and we’re not in the mood?” She gave him an insolent look and he went back to cooking. I looked up to see her mother starring at me with a lost look on her face and the creepiest smile I’ve ever seen.
“So, ah, yeah,” I began, “that was quite a trip. I haven’t been on a bus…,”
“Why don’t you kids go and get washed up for supper.” Janine’s mom interrupted. This idea seemed to come to her in some kind of epiphany. Her eyes widened and life seemed to trickle back into them. She tilted her head mechanically towards the kitchen door. “Yes, mmmhmmm, yes, a good ride, oh yes, a good ride,” Frank said under his breath.
Janine looked at me mischievously, took my hand and led me to her room. On the way there we passed Donny and Brooke in the hallway. They stood like statues and watched with enjoyment as we entered Janine’s room. I looked back before we entered and they both winked at me.
So at this point was I a little freaked out. I was not sure that I would be able to see this through. I was not sure if I was just overreacting or if things were really this crazy. Either way I longed for the sanctuary of the dorm. I thought about the cozy comforter my mom had sent me. Then I thought about laying in it watching “sports center” on my shitty fifteen-inch television that sat on my mini-fridge, filled with cheep beer. Oh how I longed for….
“So what do you think of my family so far?” Janine asked, unzipping her boots.
“Well to be honest,” I started but then saw Janine remove her shirt and thought better of it, “they’re great Janine, really, um, unique?” She was in the process of unhooking her bra and stopped. “Unique?” she asked skeptically.
“Yeah, you know, they seem really nice (nice and crazy), you know very, um warming.” I gave her a smile and she walked over to me. She took my hands and placed them on her breasts. What weird family, I thought. “I’ve got your warming,” she said as she pushed me back on the bed and climbed on top of me. As she leaned down and kissed my neck I was sure I could here Donny and Brooke in the room giggling. I figured I would look into it later.
I came out of Janine’s room with a fresh perspective on things. I was definitely feeling better about things. So Janine’s family is a little, “eccentric.” Who was I to judge? My family is plenty nuts. Well, I thought they were.
I was combing my hair in the bathroom when I saw his reflection in the mirror. He was standing behind me totally naked. He did not seem to notice me. He stood there modeling his face into different poses. He adjusted his eyebrows and squinted his eyes, lip-synching some imaginary song. After a minute I realized he was mouthing the words and acting out a rap song. I inched my way passed him and was heading for the door.
“Hey bro?” he asked, still looking in the mirror. “You like rap?”
Was this guy for real? He turned and faced me. I looked at him curiously for a second, wondering if there was some kind of punch line to all this. He cocked his hip to the side and folded his arms, and waited for his answer. Now don’t get me wrong, I have no problem talking to a naked guy, but Donny was fully erect in every meaning of the word. There really wasn’t much I could say. “Sure, I love rap music, great shit.”
Donny looked pleased by this answer and went back to his rap performance in the mirror. I slipped quietly out of the bathroom and made a B-line for Janine’s room. What the hell was that? I was tiptoeing quickly down the hall. I got to her room and was about to run in and hide when I heard a voice behind me. I told myself it was Janine, but I knew who it was before I turned around.
Brooke’s eyes were wide and sinister. Before I could get it into my pocket, Brooke had hold of my hand and was leading me towards her room. I kept looking over my shoulder in the hope that there was even a slight chance I would get out of this. She pushed me into the room and slammed the door. I stood looking around at everything in the room but Brooke. She was sitting on the bed studying me. She patted the space next to her.
“Why don’t you come sit over here James? It’s really comfy over here,” she giggled.
“Ah no, um, I’m cool right here, you know got to stretch my legs and all. You know, from the bus ride.” I realized that I was sweating and that my heart was racing.
“The bus ride! Yeah, the ride, the ride!” she said gleefully. She stood up on the bed and looked at me with Janine’s same serious look. “James, let me ask you something, since you know, at least for today, you are like a part of the family.”
“Um, sure Brooke,” I say, bracing myself.
“Well, um, do you think, my sister is pretty?”
A wave of relief washed over me. I had to laugh at that. “Sure Brooke,” I said, my body unwinding. “Sure, she’s great.”
“Do you think I look like her?” she said in a childlike voice.
“Ah yeah, Brooke, sure you do. Actually I am kind of amazed at how much you two look alike.”
“Really?” Her voice was high and excited.
“Sure, sure,” I said casually surveying the room.
“Well what about these?” She lifted her shirt and I was face to face with the full frontal anatomy of Janine’s other sibling. I knew this was going to happen. The mind’s ability to deny and rationalize has always fascinated me.
“Um, yeah,” I looked over at the door suddenly like I heard someone call my name. “I better go see what Janine needs, ah yeah, um, see ya, thanks.” I was not really sure what I was thanking her for, but it seemed appropriate some how. I ran into Janine’s room and started pacing. Ok now what? Do I tell Janine? How exactly? I knew at that moment that my only real option was to get the hell out of there. I would just fake a family emergency and bolt. I would tell them that my aunt needed me.
I opened the door and there stood Janine. She smiled and put her arms around me. “Ready for dinner baby?” She smelled great and her face glowed. She had a seductive gleam in her eye when she asked, “ready to go down and be a part of the family?” I winced at the word family.
When I entered the dining room, Janine’s mother was lighting a giant candelabra. Her dad, Frank, came in holding a large silver platter with the most beautiful looking turkey I had ever seen. He looked up at me with a smug expression and then suggestively down at the turkey. My stomach sank and I started feeling a little dizzy.
Just then, Janine, Brooke, Donny, and Janine’s older clone simultaneously entered the room. The women were all wearing silk dresses that looked like robes. Donny was wearing a kind of silk tracksuit, and looking back at Frank, so was he. I stood there dumbfounded, my system buzzed with fear. We made an impromptu circle around the table. I was not sure weather to laugh or cry, and before I could do either, Frank spoke.
“Here we stand at another one of our family’s time honored traditions. A time of year when family,” Frank looked over at me, “and friends of family, who today are like part of the family, can get together and share our thanks and love. James, we invite you to share with us on this truly special day.”
My imagination spun around like the reels of a slot machine. I had no idea where this was leading, but there were a lot of disturbing possibilities. I was speechless and could only offer up a weak smile.
Janine’s family smiled back at me in unison. Janine leaned into me and whispered, “you are going to love this James, and I know my family is a little corny, but you will see we are lots of fun.” I looked across the table into the face of Brooke who met my gaze and licked her lips sensually.
“James honey, would you mind lowering the lights?” asked Janine’s mother. She had a look of ferocious lust and her words came out smooth and sultry. I walked rigidly over to the light switch. I hesitated a moment before turning the dimmer. This was it. Lights out. Here it comes. I lowered the lights and then turned in slow motion to face Janine’s family.
There they stood, each one of them in their original design. No clothes to mask identity. This was Janine’s family in the buff; I can definitely say that at that point, I was part of the family. They joined hands and in chorus welcomed my in. I skulked up to the table and looked at all of them. They had mesmerized expressions and all they wore the same elated grins. Janine looked at me tenderly and said, “Come on over into the circle James, come share in our Thanksgiving.” Janine was glowing, as were the rest of her family. They were the most beautiful (and only) naked family I had ever met.
And for a minute I felt like joining them. I started pulling off my shirt when I looked down and saw the turkey. Was that turkey wearing make-up and a wig? I stood paralyzed as the blood rushed from my head. I pulled my shirt back down and staggered backward. I felt Janine’s hand go around my shoulders. “Are you ok baby, you don’t look so good.”
“I just ah, I just need to sit,” I was breathing heavily. Janine helped me into a chair and her mother came over. She leaned down put her hand on my cheek brushing my ear with her nipple. She leaned into me pressing her thigh against my knee. “He doesn’t feel hot.” She slid her hands onto my shoulders and began massaging them. “There you go, it’s that long bus ride, you are just would up sweetheart, you just need to relax.”
At the sound of the words, ”bus ride,” Frank walked over and stood before me. It was Frank and all of Frank’s assets staring me in the face. “I know some stretches that work great for alleviating the stress of a long bus ride. These stretches are guaranteed, come on over here James and I can show you.” He walked over to some couches in the next room. I looked up at Janine who nodded her head in approval. “My dad knows his stuff James,” she said with a bright smile.
I stood on wobbly knees. My head was spinning and my ears rang. I shuffled hesitantly toward the couches. When I was about half way there I noticed the front door. I took a deep breath and faced Janine’s family. “I, um, that is I need to tell you all something.” They looked at me quizzically. “What is it James,” Janine asked, concerned.
“Well, I wanted to tell you all this earlier, but I was just having so much fun,” I laugh inwardly at that, “you see its my aunt, she just got a divorce and well, I am feeling really guilty about not being there.”
“Oh James, why didn’t you tell me?” asked Janine.
“Well I didn’t want to ruin your day with your family Janine, I know how um, special, this day is for you and all,” special putting it lightly of course.
“Well do you need to call her James,” asked Janine’s mom, “We have a phone up in our room if you need privacy.”
“There is one my room you can you use James,” Brooke added.
“Ah no, I mean no thanks, I really should go see her. They just live in the next town over. I can grab a bus. Thank you so much for everything, I am really sorry to run out on you like this. Gosh, I am really worried about her, she sounded so…sad, on the phone.”
“Well hey bro, let me drive you,” Donny offered, nonchalantly massaging his chest. He was once again aroused or had he been the whole time?
“Ah no, I’m good, I really need to just take a walk and clear my head before I get to my aunt’s. It’s only about a mile, I could use some, um, fresh air.”
“Ok James, call me when you get to your aunt’s house so I know you are ok. I will see you tomorrow baby.” Janine planted a wet kiss on my lips and gave my touché a squeeze. So did her mother, so did Brooke, and just as Frank leaned in I sprung for the door. I moved quickly down the stairs and did not look back until I reached the highway. I let out a sigh and headed for the bus station. To my surprise I had a slight erection.
I walked along the highway retracing the afternoon’s events and trying to subdue my libido. I heard a car honking behind me. It passes me and then slowed down and pulled over. When I approached the car I looked in and saw Annette smiling at me. Well, more at my bulge than me.
“Um,” she giggles, “so what are you up to James, where are you headed?” I gave her a shy look, “Well things got a little too intense at Janine’s, so I’m heading back to school.”
“That’s hysterical. I mean oh my god, are Thanksgivings crazy or what? I mean my uncle got drunk and dropped his pants in front of my entire family. Can you imagine that? I mean things just got crazy after that and I was like, grandma, I’m taking the car to the station, I’m getting the hell out of here. You know what I mean? Being a part of a family can just be crazy sometimes.”
“Yeah,” I chuckled, “I know what you mean.”
“Well, I guess we’re taking the bus together so we can talk all about it on the way back to campus. Hop in.”
I slid in next to Annette and she gave me a seductive little smile. “So do live on campus?” she asked.
“Yeah, actually I live in the dorms,” I said proudly.
Annette let out a laugh, “The dorms? Oh my god I used to looovve living in the dorms. I had so much fun when I lived in the dorms.”
“Well Annette,” I put on my best James Dean, “when we get back to campus, I would love to give you a tour.” She gave me a naughty smile and we headed back to Eden.